Nooooooo, I need more than a month.

The summer has gone by too quickly.

I am not ready for it to be August on Tuesday.

I am not ready for the wasps in the backyard to be harassing me day or night making  it 150% unappealing for me to sip a beverage or work out there (It was at 100% when I got five mosquito bites in five minutes despite a blanket, citronella candles and a bug zapper.)

I am not ready to tell my girls that two family friends are moving away in September which will break their hearts now but be an inspiration later in life.

I am not ready to admit the pool has been open for three months and I’ve only been in it half a dozen times.  Mostly because it has been raining or I’m putting a kiddo to bed or I am working or I am flat out tired of people-ing so the others jump in and I hide in the shade or the air conditioning.

I am not ready to spend money on back to school clothes for my oldest girl, who quite frankly is only getting four pairs of leggings and a pair of jeans because washed is a creature of habit and wears the same five outfits every week so I needn’t bother with extra clothes. Trust me, I learned this the hard way. When she outgrows the habit or the clothes she can have more.

Mostly, I am not ready to say goodbye to my girls for the day again. My tween starts every morning annoyed at the world and my five year old usually ends her days that way. The eight year old (my favourite age incidentally, which I said when my oldest was eight) kinda just coasts through summer working out as much as humanly possible and trying to get as brown as my Dad. ( And yes she wears sunblock.) Her I’ll have to deal with come Labour Day when her anxiety kick in…which I also don’t want to deal with.

Im mostly losing perspective that we spent the first ten days of the summer away in vacation. That they are staying fit with swimming and dance and I watch them swim every day. That the youngest is swimming and treading water without water wings. That the middle-y has a fellow eight year old over to play with, that the oldest has read a dozen books already and has finally connected with her cousin via email because they love to read. And that ultimately, I’m home so I get to see and hear what they do and get frequent hugs. I just want more time.

Time to play and swim. Time to teach them how to cook (peanut butter pie doesn’t seem to count). Time to read beside by oldest and colour with my youngest. Time to let my middle put me through a workout she’s created and teach me how to tread water.

Work took up today but that’s because we went out for lunch in Friday and book shopping. They also got to spend the day in the pool with their brother so they didn’t miss me and I was happy for them.

Tomorrow is a new day and a whole week of chances to cook and learn and hang lie ahead. As does a long weekend.

With only 37 days until school starts it doesn’t seem like enough time; but, I can’t dwell I need to move forward and enjoy what’s left.

i just wish that someone else would parent my girls and teach them things and make the money to pay for dance that makes them so happy. Then I could just hang out poolside and play boardgames inside. But as my partner in crime pointed  out, then I wouldn’t be a very good mama and odds are they wouldn’t be great people later in life either.


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