Now, that I’m home, I’m faced with the dilemma of trying to figure out what’s a priority for me, what’s important for my girls and what will make my partner happy. It’s not always the same thing. It’s also, admittedly not the best time to be doing this. I’m too heartsick from being home. I feel a ridiculous sense of peace on the island and my girls positively glow (and not from all of the melted butter they were dipping seafood int).
Personally, I just want to buy a cottage in PEI and spend two months on the north shore every summer. Not consecutively, that would be crazy 🙂 I work remotely so I’m quite certain I could handle an ocean view instead of a suburban street view.
The other part of me – that sees things through my partner’s eyes – looks around the house and sees a shabby floor, chipped paint, peeling vinyl, off-kilter hinges and an ugly (as well as useless) hood vent. I see bookshelves and dining room chairs we bought on the cheap that are well past their prime. I notice the faded couch that has served us well for over ten years, been reupholstered and is literally on dying legs. And I narrowly avoid falling in the literal gaping hole in our deck beside which sits our broken hot tub (the inflatable kind we basically got for free, so I’m not complaining about my suburban privilege. Well, hopefully not too much.)
The mama in me sees girls who want to jump on a plane and go back west to visit with their cousin again and girls who I eventually want to take to Italy and Spain. Not to mention girls who insist on being smart and will likely purse some kind of post secondary education that is going to cost me some pennies too.
I’m not in any position to completely redecorate my house, pay for tuition for three children or buy a cottage. So, for now, I’ll turn a blind eye to the structural and focus on enjoying my work, being head-over-heels excited for two more months of summer with my girls and saving several thousands of dollars for dance lessons for the girls, not me. I don’t need lessons to dance the way I do – ha!